Motherhood Makes You Feel Lonely (2)

Taboo topic: Miscarriage

I have nothing to hide. Ask me anything. 👌 Here is my story:

When I first visited my OBGYN, I thought I was 7 weeks pregnant. Dr said the fetus’ measurement was 6 weeks but it had the heartbeats, so no one was worried.

Two weeks later, I started bleeding. Like I had period. “7 weeks and 1 day.” That’s the day Dr said the fetus stopped growing💔

I came home to my beautiful children calling me mama!! with huge smile on their faces. Ryan and I hugged hard, and I sobbed. I couldn’t cry too much because I didn’t want to worry Maaya Q. I kept telling myself that this is for the best. Losing the fetus earlier is better for my mental because I was already attached to this one.

I lost the baby next morning, on Sep 11th, Logan’s first birthday. What a day to remember🌈

I felt empty…And it was a bit hard for me to see other pregnant ladies for a while (Although I don’t know their stories.)

Saddest truth of miscarriage is the news was just the beginning of my downwards spiral. Constant reminder (bleeding) that I don’t have the baby anymore… I lost motivation, I was irritable and upset. It took a week for me to be able to actually cry to grieve. I’m ready to talk now.

To the lady who told me I could lose few more pounds looking at my belly, this 👆 is why. I was already showing a bit.

My goal is to #normalizemiscarriage

and to make my IG a place where women can share their raw stories and support each other.

For the past few months, I’m sharing my motherhood stories, all the highs and lows. This was my lowest. For anyone who has been thru any struggles like IVF, miscarriage, still birth, etc., my heart is with you. You are not alone. Believe me, I’m not sharing my story for sympathy. It’s my choice and I thought I didn’t need to deal with this silently. I want to share real life; Not so simple, not so beautiful, not perfect, but real story.

Having a network around us and supporting system are priceless.

Let’s stand together. So we won’t feel alone. 🙌word board saying we wanted to keep you with Elmo doll

[repost from my instagram] If you like to share your story with me, message me!

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